final stretch

Life doesn’t always go as planned. Most of the times, it goes the opposite way. It’s the most complicated thing. And it’s disappointing.

I’m starting to think that life is only like this, “You’re born… You go to school… You go to work… You die”. You did something nice, people would smile. You did something bad, fingers will point to you and people will have you up for being a freak.

Life is a steep cliff. You have to go thru and get past its steepness to get to the top. You go farther, people would smile. You forgo, people will think you’re a loser.

Life is infinitesimal. We should live every minute of it like it’s our last minute on earth.
You make your day worthwhile, people would smile. You let a day merely pass by, you’re a miserable bastard.

Life is aiming for the better. You aspire high, people will smile. You’re complacent with your life, people think you’re a goner.

Ahh life. You’re one hell of a problem. You’re dwelled up with complicated things and everything and everyone around you contradict.

Yet i do know… there’s always a glen in every hill and there’s always a ford in every river.

How about you?
Yes you!

What are the reasons that make you go onto life?

What about the reasons that make you not want to carry on?

What do you think of life?

What do you want to do in your life?

Well… I don’t know about you but I am contemplating suicide.

(muka ba kong seryoso dito?! ehe)

Anyhows.. I think, it's time this blog ended its run.

yun lang. ba-bay! :)

ladies, gentlemen, homos and straights..

i dont actually feel like doing anything right now because i am so exhausted...
probably because i only had two hours of sleep last night and i am too busy thinking about work and pondering about my boss' mind blowing question - "so, how?". pano ko sasagutin? eh! 'was just blogging non sense yesterday in the meeting.

goodnesslimpin'gracious!

well whatever, thinkin' of watching BB na din ulit 'coz it's my kind of show.. (actually, any comedy will do, anything that will keep me from being not busy... hell i really am lazy)

anyway, this program that i need to write... i dont know how the hell i am going to start...
i feel so tired to begin with and secondly, i just dont feel like doing it yet... yeah! what a dosser..
well.. i guess i have to
move and get that energy back.. nahakss. parang commercial lang... chao!

gusto ko. bakit ba?

this is my second post for today (why not?!)

long live kath! buti buhay kapa..at dahil tuwang tuwa ako sa pinag gagawa mo sa buhay mo eto..

yeheah.

it is implicit and is indeed a protocol to start any writing with an introduction or at least an excuse for writing at all. but since i have too little to say about my feelings, and i'm done with contemplations, I’d shut up and continue typing.

there is actually no particular reason for writing this one (as always!)... i just thought that i haven’t been around for a while and i have never written a serious blog since… uhmm… never.

this is nothing serious really. just bored , at nasa loooong meeting. i decided to write something that is worth my time doing. but hey, i’m still in a proper frame of mind after all (unbelievably) so i guess i’m going to have to carry on until i feel like stopping (or until my fingers get welt and swelled from typing nonsense stuff).

my antediluvian obsession is gradually filling my imaginations again. (hell, I think like a septuagenarian…) boy, what i wouldn’t give to live during that time. it seems like one did not act all provident back then because everything seemed to be perfectly perfect. (unlike today where every man has his price and it’s an irreparable fact… truly irreparable).

i wonder if i would be able to rectify a bit of today someday. wherefore? i don’t friggin’ know either. (all I know is “Heroes” is a rip-off of x-men. ahaha… huwawww relevant! but i do like the show… build a beerhouse save the world... hmmm.)

i wouldn’t say i am at the zenith of happiness (because i’d be dying then) but yes i am so elated. i don’t care a fig for other things anymore. i just love this awesome deluge of great feeling i haven’t felt for a long while. maybe because i’ve seen “aren’t asians great”. damn how i love that parody. i like it better than the original.

anyway, I’ve been burning daylight for quite a while, i guess it’s about time i took things seriously. Not with everything though… just with a few things… otherwise, there’d be no reason to live. but the big problem is i couldn’t think of anything serious (why am I surprised? i don’t even raise hell about any crap) ohwell… whatever.

and of course, this entry is not making any sense anymore so… yeah…

i’ll stop.


oh, bythe way

TO KATH:
what can you say, like it? ahaha.
yung postcards huh? next time na yung 100 things i hate about che. later, after the meeting haha!

okay.

FULL STOP.

there's gotta be something better than just knowing.

a fact of life, we all require a constant control to change our ways - and we need a reasonable hint to tell us when enough is really enough.

I've heard this from my Dad a long time ago and it stuck: "Be moderate in everything."

when I feel that I want more, think moderation. (syempre, minsan madalas di ko sinusunod 'to HoHo!)

anyways, back to the topic: it does not imply to waddle through mediocracy - no, that is one lazy understanding. I think, it is just a constant reminder to those who might have need it - to stop saying..

"Alright, last bite! just one last small bite.." then keep sayin' it again and again and again after a dozen bites later.

so, why am I so serious?!

my best friend Kath is nowhere to be found at ang haba haba haba kasi ng byahe. boo!

Basura here..basura there, basura everywhere!

My mum once made me clean my high school and early-college-days stuff and I’ve seen several things that reminded me of my idiocy during those times.
 
A letter during my junior year that says my parents have to talk to the prefect of discipline because I cheated during an exam. (I didn’t really cheat.)
 
A letter that says my parents have to talk to the principal because I cheated. (This time, I really did.)
 
My call slip to the prefect of discipline for slapping a co-student on the face. (hell yeah!) :))
 
My call slip to the prefect of discipline for throwing 25 centavo-coins down the school grounds from the third floor. (tuwang tuwa naman ung mga lalake eh...)
 
My temporary i.d for a day.
 
My late slip for arriving an hour late for class.
 
Copy of the death threat I wrote for my crush. Ehe.
 
My call slip for having an open buttoned-blouse.
 
Hundreds of fake excuse letters with forgery that I wrote myself for not attending afternoon classes. (My reasons were all lame. I wrote “please excuse my daughter for being absent yesterday afternoon due to an excruciating headache”. What kind of freakin’ idiot would buy that?)
 
A letter our school clinic provided saying that I am excused from all my classes and that I can go home already. (FYI, I pretended I was having LBM)
 
The certificate I got from winning the declamation contest. (Champion, mind you.) And two more… (nahaksss…)
 
The certificate of winning the “sabayang awit” (Good times.)
 
 
My crush’s reply to my death threat. (He wrote: “kill me with pleasure”… whatta guy huh?)
 
My photo with my friends during our bivouac with mud packs on.
 
My reaction papers for Pacelli. (whatever happened to that homo?)
 
Also our photo during school’s foundation week while playing on the grounds in the middle of the rain. (i almost had a pneumonia)
  
My friend’s resentment letter for me. (I wonder why I never got to read it before…)
 
Our student teacher’s mobile number. (nice vinzons...)
 
Vivian’s little letters for me saying I’m a good person. (Huwaaat? Get outta here! Hinde ako uto-uto! )
 
Call slip to the prefect for spreading catsup all over the second floor, third stall toilet bowl.
 
Binocular my friends and I had used to peek from afar while the boys were changing into their p.e. uniforms. (Kadiri si Vistro. Nangungulangot!)
 
Our Brigadoon kilt with my classmates’ messages for me… (Mga plastic kayo!)
 
An old two peso coin.
 
My friend’s apology letter to her bf that I forgot to give. (They broke up by the way… because of me.)
 
The slum page I made my BSIT classmates answer. (It was quite boring.)
 
The three-page questionnaire I made them filled out again. (It was hilarious! This time it was so liberating. Haha!)
 
Erotic thriller VCDs. (huwaaat?)
 
A torn out notebook page filled with swear words. (why am i surprised?)
 
Gabby’s photo… Huhu… memories are coming back…Hmmpph…

Call slip for using the boys’ restroom. (Nobody uses it anyway. What can I do? I really needed to pee and group of girls turned the girls’ restroom into a dressing room.)
 
My sophomore bingo card. (it was for a cause...)
 
Parokya ni Edgar’s concert ticket. (ohokss)
 
 
Warning letter for chewing a gum inside the classroom. (sino ba nagpauso na bawal ang gum sa campus?)
 
Engraved engagement ring. Ehe.
 
Call slip for laughing at an A.P. teacher. (She was insane!)
 
Smack down playstation cd.
 
A used table napkin. (It wasn’t even mine.)
 
Scripts I have been writing for a long, long time. (Di pa din tapos?)
 
Fake i.d. for when we decided to drink at bars. (Coz we were minors then.)
 
Travis biography. (Hail Travis!!! Long live mates!!!)
 
Me and my friends photo with Kitin. I miss you girl! Whatever happened to you?...
 
“Papercut” lyrics. (oyes. The good times.)
 
Bass guitar tab for “play that funky music”.
 
Demonic incantation. (I have performed that. As much as I can remember… Ehe.)
 
My friend’s letters for me written on a manila paper and cash register tape.
 
And a lot more crap… ang dami ko pang kalat…



it’s time I threw them out.
 

two sides of the same coin.

who can tell what's real and what's not?
who's real and who's not?
who's real to my face and who's real behind my back?

I’ve been through with this deep thinking and I have come to the conclusion that I am tired and I am done. (if you know what I mean).

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.